ToS commercials
by Music in the Dark
Summary: i have added a new chapter. droped calls, scary Frank, JUGDMENTYEAH
1. Chapter 1

**Well this is ToS commercials enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twix, Geico, Capital One, Arbys, Hotpockets, Wal-Mart, progressive, Star Trek, Master Card, or Tales of Symphonia**

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Lloyd, Zelos, and Yuan were sitting, taking a break from there construction job and watching the world go by.

When Raine walks by. Now normally the three guys would hoot and holler at the school teacher but they were silent.

Then Sheena walked by and still they were quiet.

But then came Kratos. And in his hand was a bag and in that bag was Arbys. And over his head was an Arbys symbol.

The three workers yelled and hollered at the manly seraph as if he was … well, the least manly thing they had ever seen… yeah, they were thinkin' Arbys

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Regal walks into view and so easy a dumbass could do it."

Then Lloyd runs in yelling

"Not cool man, not cool!"

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Lloyd and Sheena sitting on a couch making out when suddenly Tiga pops out of nowhere and taps Lloyd on the shoulder.

"You no hungry for girl; you hungry for hot pocket! "

We then see a bewildered looking Sheena with an opportunistic looking Tiga next to her and Lloyd eating a hot pocket.

"HOT POCKET"

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Lloyd and Genis are standing at a counterin Wal-Mart and are buying something when Lloyd pulls out a normal check card.

We then see the Grand Cardinals charging through the store bashing people and displays out of their way.

But just as the Desians are about to attack Lloyd, Genis stops him and says:

"Wait use your Capital One no hassle Check Card"

Cardinals: "Shit"

Magnius: "What's in your wallet, VERMIN?!"

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Lloyd is sitting on a therapist's couch playing with his cell phone. Genis was opposite him in a chair with a name tag that said "Dr. Sage"

"So why are you mad?" Genis asked Lloyd.

"So easy a dumbass could do it? I mean what if it said so easy a … a half-elf could do it?" Lloyd replied.

"Well that wouldn't make sense"

"Why"

"Well, because half-elves are…"

"Are what, smart?" Lloyd said. Then, a ringing sound filled the air, and he looks at his phone. "That's my father, I'll put it on speaker phone."

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It is the scene at the hot springs and Sheena shouts "whose there". Zelos runs off leaving Lloyd to face Sheena, Colette, Raine, and Presea.

"What are you doing?"

The scene pauses and we hear "Need a moment, chew it over with Twix"

The scene resumes and Lloyd shoves a Twix into his mouth and makes grunting noises.

"Oh, ok, want to join us?"

Lloyd just kind of freezes up and is half dragged into the hot spring by Sheena and Colette.

Zelos comes out of his hiding place with a mixture of shock, envy, and anger on his face.

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Pronyma comes on and says "now that Mithos is dead and everyone is switching to Capital One we Grand Cardinals have had to find new jobs.

We see Forcystus as a therapist asking people how that makes them feel.

We see Rodyle as an astronaut accidentally letting go of the spaceship and tumbling into space "Sybak, we have a problem"

We see Kvar on the bridge of the starship Enterprise with William Shatner saying "Hello Mr. Spock"

We see Magnius swinging his ax at a large pile of electrical equipment "VVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!"

And we see Pronyma doing what comes naturally for her, prostitution.

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We see Lloyd standing in front of the Tower of Salvation with a busted up rheiard. An insurance claims guy with "Progressive" on his shirt checking out the rheiard.

Lloyd: So, I recently switched to Progressive rheiard insurance. It is really great because they come out and check my rheiard for me. And I am a dramatic hero so if I get pummeled evil monsters or if I … run into the Tower of Salvation… it came out of nowhere.

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Ring side seat: 20 Gill

Baseball bat: 36,000 Gill

Hospital bill: 6,000,000 Gill

Watching Zelos get the shit beaten out of him: priceless

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**Well that's it sorry it was so short but I couldn't thinke of any more **

**If you want more review ideas it might take some time but they might be used**

**review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok I originally didn't intend to update this but I thought of some really good ones so I couldn't resist.**

**And I apologize for mixing Gil for Gald when I realized that I kind got mad at myself because I correct people when they confuse game currencies… I'm such a hypocrite… oh well**

* * *

This is Lloyd

Lloyd has a problem

Lloyd keeps running into walls

Because Lloyd is thinking Arbys

And when you're thinking Arbys

It is hard to think of anything else

Or he's just a dumbass

One of the two

* * *

A very frustrated Yuan is walking out of his office in Derris-Kharlan, and saying to everyone he passes:

"I have to go meet the insurance claims guy. It's an all day thing"

("Everyone" including but not limited to)

His secretary (Botta disguised as a girl)

Kvar, Rodyle, and Magnius plotting to overthrow Pronyma

Forcystus doing target practice

Remial practicing his oracle speech

Kratos just standing there looking badass

Random angel # 197029

Pronyma at her desk that says "Yggy's bitch"

Mithos painting his nails

Until he finally gets out of … where ever he is, and sees a lady with a Progressive shirt.

"Hello Mr. (large explosion so we can't here his last name) if you'll just point out your rheiard I'll be done in no time"

He does and is surprised then looks around and runs off to do whatever he does in his spare time.

* * *

Lloyd is sitting across from Frank at Colette's house. Frank is staring him down and Lloyd is fidgeting nervously.

"So you're in my daughter's fave five"

"Uh, yeah"

"I am too; in fact my picture is right next to yours. It's like I'm watching you all the time," Frank said holding up a phone and never taking his eyes off Lloyd.

"I, um … uh"

Then Colette comes in and says, "Are you ready Lloyd?"

"YES!"

"Bye Daddy!" the two blonds hug Frank still staring at Lloyd.

* * *

Yuan: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Lloyd: I would use the Eternal sword to split the world in two and then with Regal (the badass) and Genis (the smartass) control the two worlds as the leader of an angelic organization that draws attention from itself by making one world have most of the mana and therefore making them to cocky to notice me and the other plagued by not only a shortage of mana but also an organization under my control that suppresses the people of that world until a "chosen" can complete a journey to a very tall tower the will ultimately result in that "chosen" becoming a vessel for Colette.

Yuan: um

Colette: I would eat a bunny… alive

Yuan: O.O

Kratos: I would do this (runes appear around him) Sacred Powers, cast you purifying light on these corrupt souls, rest I peace sinners, Judgment

Yuan: (Yuan looks up to the sky waiting to be hit by the beams of light. And as he is distracted Kratos bonks him on the head and takes the Klondike bar)

Kratos: It worked …sucker

* * *

Mithos walks up to the counter of Burger King in his Yggdrasill form, and starts to order.

BK Employee: sir this is a kids restaurant.

Mithos: ugh…fine (turns into Mithos form)

BK Employee: sir you need adult supervision

Mithos: ah come on

* * *

_A party at Zelos' mansion every one is having a good time except for Zelos. He is on a balcony with Lloyd._

Lloyd: come on man don't listen to them

Zelos: I'm just so sick and tired of this

Lloyd: well what do you expect you went with what so makes me less of a dumbass?

Lloyd: look just a little loyalty would be nice (A/N oh the irony)

_Yuan walks in_

Yuan: Raine's here we're getting back together

Lloyd: look just a little privacy

* * *

Presea calls Genis on his cell phone.

"…hello?"

"Geins? Hey it's Presea I was wondering if, um you would like to, um go on a date some time?"

"Yeah I would love to. That would be great. When?"

Unfortunately Genis' phone had dropped the call.

"Geins?... well then fine is that's how your going to be.

* * *

After the Tree was revived.

Kratos: Lloyd Mithos went into your exosphere and gave you wings.

Lloyd: uh…sure that's what happened. (Holding a Red Bull can behind back.)

* * *

Disco ball: 30 Gald

Flashy light: 56 Gald

Disco suit: 25 Gald

Mithos doing the point for five hours straight … priceless

* * *

**It is done **

**Thank you to ****Mushroom Fujibayshi**** and ****Moonshine's Guide**** for their ideas**

**REVIEW…please**


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